Disappointment

I discovered something about myself today. It's probably not really new but it came to me in a way I could understand today.

I get excited about potential, about what could be. And if you promise me that it will happen, it is as if it has already will in the future have happened. That is, your word to me is an ironclad guarantee of a future event.

So when it doesn't happen, it's really difficult to shake off, it's really disappointing. And yet there are some people who do this very regularly and I take them at their word every time. Oh, sure, they try to say "It might not happen" or "No guarantees" but I ignore that part.

And then when it doesn't happen (it never happens), I'm disappointed all over again. I try to say I won't fall for it, but I do. And when it happens at work, it's especially disappointing because my particular style (the "nerd" articles from a few days helped me to understand this) is one that thrives on new. So when there's a promise of new, I get excited, only to get let down. And I become a little more disappointed.

I think I still have a strong work ethic and I think that these won't cause me to work any less hard, but in time, it does star to wear on me.

The kicker? I'm probably better off if nothing is said until it's a sure thing (and machinations are already under way) and it's a nice surprise.