Sexy Harrassment

So here it was... day two of new employee orientation. (No, not a new job... just finally ran out of excuses to avoid attending.)

At the end of day one they had said "On day two, please sit at a different table with different people." So I did my part and sat at a table with two women my age. Eventually the table filled up... with more women my age or slightly older. Granted, this is a female-heavy employer, but still... I didn't mind, except that I quickly remembered that a big portion of the morning would be spent on the state-mandated sexual harassment anti-training. I guess the big key to whether or not it's sexual harassment -- at least the "hostile workplace" type -- is if it's (a) unwanted and (b) repeated, intimidating or severe, as determined by a "reasonable" person.

Not a huge deal, I guess. But there was some table discussion time and they began to all talk about how they'd been harassed at previous jobs. I think they were overdoing it. But eventually they realize I was sitting there fiddling with my pen and so they all turned to me and inquired as to whether or not I'd ever been sexually harassed.

I thought about it and then said "Well, I guess if 'unwanted' is the operative word, then no." They asked me to elaborate and I stumbled through an explanation of how guys enjoy the attention. They were surprised and one, brand new to the company, about my age said "So if I came in tomorrow and said 'Hey, James, you're looking sexy today -- that wouldn't offend you?" I said "I might think it inappropriate, but I'm going to still appreciate the comment." They were surprised by that.

As always, I was able to better unpack my thoughts on it long after we'd moved off the topic.

But as far as I see it, there are only a few ways that a guy can really be sexually harassed, at least in the "hostile workplace" version. (The other "this-for-that" is probably more of an equal opportunity offender.) But for "hostile workplace," you'd have to be (a) negative in an embarassing way (in the video they showed two women giving a guy a playboy magazine and a bottle of enhancement pills) or the aggressor would have to be (b) a dude.

For me, the rule is... "how pissed is my wife going to be if I relate [whatever] to her?" And she trusts me to shut down anything that's questionable, if women out there want to stroke my ego, I don't think anyone's going to have a problem with that.

Seriously, this session had them scared. Fortunately, I was able to educate at least the women at my table of how guys are willing to be treated. And now you.

Olympic Sculpture Park

Thanks to Allison's suggestion, all of us went to the Olympic Sculpture Garden yesterday with Steve and Liz. It was really a beautiful day, the kind of blue you look at later in photos and think "Wow." I mean, we were there, but to see it in still life is still pretty amazing. Granted, it was a little on the chilly side, but definitely beautiful. Once again we ate at the Wild Mountain Cafe in N. Seattle. I did not try something new but again had The "Vince" - a big omelette with sausage, pineapple, cheese, refriend beans, feta cheese and salsa. I know it sounds weird, but it's really good. Despite her eating there all the the time, they didn't seme to recognize Allison and actually misunderstood her and didn't bring her any food. Lori thinks they're all stoned. Be the case, still amazing food. Anyhow, the tree pictured at right is one of the sculptures. Brings to mind a dumb song about tree museums. Aaaaaanyhow...

And then last night I uploaded all of January's photos to Flickr and realized that in this same month we also had work-stopping snow of amazing proportions. Very wild. (Though friends who had been down to Malibu said they saw snow on the beach a week or so ago which is pretty amazing, too.)

As always, if you're only seeing photos of random people and lots of shots with no people, then you need to sign-in. Most of the photos of us are by invite only, so ask if you need an invite.