task frustration

task frustration continues to be the enemy of simplify. I boil down to what I think if a manageable list of things to do and then when I go to do them, there's something in my way.

I go down my list - nope, nope, nope, nope, can't do - usually blocked by someone in the way or someone in the space I need. Eventually I get to a point where I'm like like "f it" and then I do nothing. 

It doesn't feel great. I don't have a solution for it. Any high I had hoped to get from being able to cross stuff off is gone and instead I just wander around aimless waiting for bed. Or death. 

Well, waiting for everyone else to go to bed. Then I can leave the house and go on a long walk and listen to my audiobook or music and no one bothers me. 

And then I can come home and go to sleep and maybe try again tomorrow. 

But I've got about two hours before that can happen. It would be nice to do something useful and feel productive in the meantime.

unangry

In my last post I talked about what made me unhappy or that "unhappy" felt like a good catch-all for negative feelings.  I tried to look out for them over the next few days and I realized that often the emotion that surfaced was anger. Not like every-except-Hal on Malcolm in the Middle or Paul on Breeders level of anger, but anger none-the-less. I wondered if focusing on what made me unhappy might have the wrong effect as I tried to return to life after vacation.  

The reasons aren't new, they've been explored. Task interruption, task disruption, higher priorities and responsibilities, the times when I'm no longer in control. And that leads to frustration and anger. Or when I'm physically attacked or spit on by my child. Or even frustrations with work which don't exactly manifest as anger most of the time, but definitely frustration, anxiety and worry. 

I thought maybe to watch for the times when I felt unhappy might lead me to be able to start seeing when control is no longer mine, to figure out if there were specific things I needed to handle. (One thing I've learned but not always put into practice is attempting to write while others in the household are still up. This has been a huge source of frustration in the past - I can't always control when I'm inspired to write, but then when I get ripped away while I'm feeling creative or introspective can be so maddening. I'm being dumb trying to write right now, but I want to write. But, I'm at the keyboard fully aware that I could be pulled away at any moment, and I'm prepared for it and know it's a possibility I accepted by trying to write right now. If it happens, I can't get mad about it.)

I also went on vacation facing a perplexing problem. It was recently determined at work that what they need me to do now is not what I was hired to do. Needs have changed. That happens. It's believed that I'm still capable to do what's needed and they've expressed a desire to still work with me, but it's a change. I've been struggling with what that means.  

Thing is, I've been here before. I wasn't able to see it while it was happening before, but now that I've been through this at least once before, I now can recognize what's happening sooner, I can understand why and I can better prepare and examine my options and even more important: realizing that I have options.

In the most immediate terms, it's been things like:

• signing out of the optional messaging system (Slack) and only being available on the official messaging system (Teams)
• focusing only on tickets assigned to me
• not looking at Teams or Outlook outside of work hours
• not trying to think up or propose new projects

I was worried that it was going to feel like I was giving up or not being true to my nature but it has turned out to be quite freeing. And if it turns out I've taken it too far, they'll let me know that they do what more from me and that'll be nice validation to what else I can and have offered beyond. It's not quiet-quitting, it's not slacking-off, it's not doing my work, it's just not trying to lead from beyond my role. It's not fun, but if I'm doing what I've been told is needed, if I've been told I was doing more than they wanted, I guess it's freeing to be expected to do less. That's kind of rare in the workplace, but I still make sure that whatever I do is with excellence, even if it's less that I'd like, if it's what they want, perfect.

But I've also tried to look at home as well. I have a massive to do list which is never-ending. I sat down and looked at all the recurring stuff and where possible, I extended out the length of time between repeats, and I looked at if there was some stuff on my list I was never actually going to ever do and removed it, and in other cases, I realized there was stuff I was mentally carrying that wasn't even on the list, so I threw it onto the list. I also realized there's a lot of time that is truly mine and time I spend on entertainment or fun and that sometimes that's more important than chores, so I tried to start looking at what's really important and what I can reasonably get done in any given day. It's been freeing to preemptively admit there is stuff I won't get to and not even allow it to be on today's (or this weeks - or this month's) list.

And then there's my diet. I didn't follow it while on vacation, but it is absolutely within my control. And I'm making great progress. And it feels good. I did need that push from my wife also restarting her diet, but now we're both making progress and I'm going to crush this. Also a few weeks ago I was out for my nightly walk and came across a home gym someone had left on the curb. I went home, grabbed my furniture dolly, wheeled it home, left it in the front of the driveway for a week and after no one came by and accused me of stealing it, I moved it into the backyard and while I haven't started using it again since coming back from vacation, it's only a matter of time before I pick it up again and move beyond just dropping weight but also adding muscle. 

And sure there's still stuff outside of my control... the weather, rude neighbors, the glacial pace of this attempt at home renovations, the end of our country, bad behavior by my kid, but there's so much that is within my control that a lot of the anger, frustration and anxiety (the "unhappiness") just didn't come back after my vacation. And it's been phenomenal. 

Did I have to stop during this post to go and help a family member with something while I was writing this? Absolutely. Did it cause me negative feelings? Nope. I was prepared for it to happen.

simplify. (again)

 It's the last day of vacation which started the day after a weekend out of town on business. So it's been two weeks since I really spend much time in the chaos that is our life back home. And whenever I get away from it, I long to hold on to what I experienced away. There's a sense of calmness - even with the entire family in tow - we have less stuff, the Airbnb is always cleaner and more streamlined - we have fewer chores and we just run a load of laundry and dishes every night no matter what. And so in the calm morning today I had a chance to do some reflection and realized it was time to restart simplify. This is my regular attempts to make my life simpler. It usually lasts for awhile and then goes by the wayside. 

So, this is just my latest attempt. Let's see how well it lasts this time. I took quite a while trying to figure out the typeface I wanted and then I just started writing down thoughts and it came out pretty quickly. Over time I'll see if what I wrote down makes sense or if it's nonsense. One thing that came really quickly was that I need a way to quickly identify what's wrong when something's wrong. I wondered about some sort of think like they have in airport bathrooms where you press the frowny face or the smiley face to tell if you think the bathroom is clean. (How clean are those little devices?) I didn't have the patience to find an app to do exactly that, but it did help me realize that I needed some method to stop and evaluate when something's going wrong, before I get angry, anxious, depressed or overwhelmed. And this kind of popped into being: 

So... what made me unhappy today?

My computer wouldn't start. We were on vacation, but we had nothing planned, and it was noisy in the house and when I went out on the deck the sound of the waves were interrupted by people doing construction on a nearby house. I was unhappy. But, this was something I could control. I decided to take a drive. I made an appointment at a Genius Bar in the nearest large city and then I drove my Mac over and they fixed it. (Note: If your Mac won't turn on after a software update and you've just recently had the screen replaced, they can probably fix it for free at your nearest Apple Store by doing a "revive" on it. If you have two Macs with modern OS, you can Google the directions and probably do it yourself.)

They fixed my computer. Unhappiness solved.  

What else? I was a little bummed because we haven't done a whole lot this trip - we didn't really have any programmed events, didn't order food from a local restaurant, didn't really do anything. My wife made a trek to a nearly bookstore that was recommended in her author group earlier this week, and yesterday I had ventured out looking for wild zebras and returned home without any success, but otherwise, we'd pretty much just stayed in and enjoyed food and TV and sitting on the patio listening to the waves. 

I headed back after I got my computer fixed and called ahead to see if anyone wanted to go with my out to try to find zebras again. It turned out everyone did. So we all got in the car, headed up the coast, saw zebras, got a few photos and then the walked into a copse of trees and we never saw them again even though we waited a long time. But, I saw them, and I got my photo. That's what I wanted. (Why zebras? They were part of a rich guy zoo. After he died, they closed the zoo and the zebras were released into the wild. His family still owns an insane amount of land in the area and the climate here is suitable for the zebras, so now they just live on the land, as wild as an animal can be when allowed to roam on an 83,000 acre plot of land.)

We talked about getting food from a local restaurant, but we were pretty tired and not very hungry so we got a small treat from a local shop and then went back to our Airbnb to get everything cleaned and packed up for tomorrow's departure. 

Is happiness the right thing to aim for? What about not-depressed? Or content? Or calm? Or enriched? Or not-bored? Or satisfied? It feels like a good shorthand, especially for the reverse "I'm not happy." So it is what it is for now. We'll just see how long this lasts this time.

On My Minimalism

So my birthday is coming up.  My daughter recently observed to my wife that I am a minimalist.  My wife agreed, and as such, said I'm incredibly difficult to buy gifts for. I thought I would look into this a little more. I found some great thoughts on this website, unfortunately after a great bit of thought, they then immediately went to things you could buy.  An excerpt:

Minimalists want to keep clutter to a minimum so that they can better enjoy their lives. They know that if their home and schedule are cluttered with things they don’t love and need, they are sacrificing space and time for the things they do love and need. 

People who practice minimalism are often looking for ways to simplify their lives. They want to be surrounded by things that they absolutely love…ONLY what they absolutely love.  

For minimalists, it’s about priorities. If you know a minimalist enough to know what their priorities are, start there. You should be able to come up with some appropriate, and very much appreciated, gifts for the minimalists in your life. 

Minimalists aren’t necessarily opposed to receiving more things for their home, but it’s best to ask. After all, minimalists definitely want to keep clutter to a minimum. If you aren’t a minimalist, but you want to buy something for a friend or family member who is, you must consider their lifestyle. You could buy them something that makes their life easier. Or maybe something that makes their life more enjoyable. To do this, you need to know their hobbies and interests, as well as their needs. 

So.. what do I love? Getting away. Vacations and long weekends. Why? We spent time together, we play together, we eat together, we worry less. We're not constantly looking at an overflowing to do list or trying to get our daughter to finish her responsibilities. We explore, we discover, we are surrounded by a clean environment (apartment and rental car).  We're not creating clutter, we clean as we go, and the only new stuff that comes into our living space is stuff we bring back, not unwanted clutter like old papers or unwanted mail. In general, we have less.

We are surrounded by art, landscaping, things that are complete. Rather than piles upon piles of incomplete. And if something does need help, usually a quick phone call and someone else comes and takes care of it. Everything is quieter. The pantry is simpler. And did I mention there's no mail? Even the time in the car is better. It's not our own traffic in our way, and we're not in a hurry to get somewhere on a schedule. Instead, it's just our journey towards whatever we're going to explore, or back to homebase to regroup and prepare for the next adventure.

What do I hate? So many things unfinished. So many demands on my time. So many things stacked in piles in progress because that's the best place to put them.  Some of this is the limitations of our small house and limited storage, some of it is the nature of too much stuff but some of it is just the way we process things in progress, like my giant pile of books to read. On vacation, I'll only have one or two, or I'll just have my Kindle, I won't have the massive pile like is currently on my nightstand.

And then there's the anxiety of the world intruding on our lives. School, work, the rest of the world. Social media.

What is a gift? Less things unfinished. Less clutter. More things accomplished, cleaned up, put away, checked off the list. More time together, more exploration, more discovery. Simplicity. Things getting better. Piles getting smaller. To do lists getting shorter. Fresh air, singing, happy, silly, being present. Eating on the patio.

When we're on vacation, it's a break from the pressures of this world. Of what the future holds.  Bills that will come due, the living arrangements for our son in the future, especially after we die. Our estranged relationships with extended family. There are people who take care of things, whether something needs repainting, something needs weeding, etc.

Does this actually yield gift ideas? Not so much. And really, isn't quite a bit of this within my control? Isn't there ways I could reframe things so that I'm not being so selfish with my time, that I'm not wasting time on things that don't help piles to get smaller, being present, not filling my time, and so on? Yes.

So how does this help someone who wants to get gifts for people who are impossible to shop for?  It's probably the following:

• Shared Experiences - exploration and discovery, chances to experience new things. The gift of time.
   
• Indulgences - the opportunity to treat yo' friends - food, artwork, new landscaping, treatments for the mind and body
   
• Help - someone else to share the load when it comes to tackling the never-ending list: painters, landscapers, housekeeping, consultation with financial advisors or life coaches or job advisors and resume writers, baby-sitting, errand-running, coach/trainer/dietician for weight loss
   
• Elimination - identifying anything that the recipient feels is a responsibility placed on them that's not really their responsibility. If it can be discarded, that's one thing. But it's something the minimalist feels strongly about, then may not simply be eliminated, it may need to be addressed (see "help").   Is there physical stuff that's causing the minimalist anxiety... can it be eliminated or stored elsewhere?
   
• Technology - like help, is there some device that will take over a task or make a task easier? I know in our house, all the Alexa-enabled stuff and the RoboVac are good examples of this.   

I would like to thank my family for making me think about this question -- and (and this is huge) for letting me have the space to retype my handwritten notes from earlier today, turn them into a blog post, and reflect on my own participation in improving things, because a lot of this has aspects that I can address on my own and treat myself to more simplicity. 

Not so @Simple

I submitted my request this morning to close my Simple bank account. I've been a member for a few years, but in my ongoing effort to, ahem, simplify, it's time I bid them adieu.

from bankinnovation.net

I liked the premise of Simple - they were going to reinvent banking. They had a few interesting features, including goal setting. They also had a great interface, both online and later on Android.  The ability to search and classify transactions and the reporting is rather attractive.

And in the beginning, they had this awesome all-white debit card that came in this neat pouch.  I think they had to create a special fee for people who exposed their credit card number in their excitement to tweet about their new card (one of the very few fees they ever had).

I used to love handing over my card because people would be amazed. One cashier demanded to know "what does it do?" not believing it was just a white card, suspecting it to be some kind of supercard, like a black Amex or something.  The card has lost some of its simplicity over the years with the addition of the chip. Sadly, the card also gets dirty quickly and the raised letters of the card number and name eventually turn black.  They can reclaim some of the design simplicity in the future if they eliminate the raised letters like a few of my other credit cards have.  The joint account cards lose the simple design altogether.

I've been a member since nearly the beginning, opening my account at the end of June 2012.  I used it for income from my side gig but it was never going to fully replace my bank so now it's time to move on.

One of its coolest features was Goal Setting - you picked something you wanted to save for and it would deduct money daily from your account into the goal.  You had a "Safe to Spend" number that it kept in front of you at all times.  If you overspent, it would come from the goal, but the idea was if you paid attention to your StS balance, that was unlikely to occur.  It was a neat future and I used it a few times to save up for things.

They also had responsive and personable service from real people, I was able to handle a few issues just over their messaging system, including a disputed charge and a rejected payment for my property taxes that almost cost me a large late fee.

In the early days, they also posted regular blog posts about issues surrounding banking and finances.  I learned a lot of new things and I thought it was a great way to show off that they were smart people trying to do new stuff in a complicated and highly regulated industry.  They seem to have abandoned the sharing of that type of insight and expertise.

Why am I leaving?  A couple of reasons...

No support for Samsung Pay - in an effort to simplify, I'm trying to lighten my wallet as much as possible.  I can't completely eliminate all cards, but I'm trying to use SP when I can because it's pretty slick.

Lack of exciting new innovation - Goal Setting was fascinating and it seemed so obvious. I expected to see regular new concepts like this, a fast clip of innovation that reinvented banking - young, energecity technology people proving they could upend the stodgy old industry, but that really hasn't occurred.  Instead, they got absorbed by a large bank (one that approached me to talk about a job, put me through a ringer with an insane number of interviews before deciding I wasn't what they wanted) and now they're beta testing... get this... paper checks!!!!  I think they're going the wrong way.

Confusing Joint Accounts - I waited for a long time for joint accounts and by the time they showed up, life was just too complicated and I couldn't convince my wife to accept the invite and get her account set up. Plus, the way it exists has been confusing to me.  You end up with mulitple cards and multiple accounts.  It's not simple, or at least not easy to understand.

A really annoying App notification - To be honest, this is actually the one thing that -- more than anything -- is driving me away from Simple. When you use their Bill Pay to pay someone, they send you a notification in the app alerting you when the recipient has deposited the check (as well as an email). I've never had this with another bank and frankly, it was never something that I was missing. It's just extra noise to get an alert, but my only other option was to turn off all alerts and then I'd miss stuff I wanted, like new deposits into the account. I even inquired if they could make it optional, something I could turn off in my account, but I guess I was the only one bothered by it.

So, I've transferred all my money out and submitted a support ticket to have my account closed. (American Express, you're next!)

identity

I've been thinking about people who have to go somewhere to find out who they are.  To me, that kind of suggests they've been neglecting themselves.  We can get busy, but why are we letting ourselves get lost?  But I guess it's probably quite easy to do.  Sometimes we're just trying to survive, the flow of life pushing us along until one day a rare moment of margin, buffer, pause... and we take stock and realize we don't like what we see.  And so then we run away to try to figure out a better picture for ourselves.

I don't want that to happen to me.  I have to admit I'm not always being true to who I am, but I think I know who I am.  I wrote it down at some point in the front of my current EDC notebook and occasionally I look at it, but I don't spend any time really thinking about it.  I'd like to think about it more in the future.

Here's what I wrote down.

simplify

husband/father/son

email and social marketer

christian

compassionate/intelligent/organized/healthy

resident of burbank, los angeles, california

And before you say... wait... you're not (pick one)... maybe I'm not.  Maybe they're aspirational.  Maybe they're reminders of where I want to be going, where I want to aim.  If I'm not, it is at least my ideal self.  

Or maybe you're saying... don't you want to be something else?  Political? Verbose? Thoughtful? Generous? Thrifty? Brave? Joyful? Patient? Kind? To be sure, there are plenty of other things I could aspire to, but for the moment, I'm pretty happy with this list.  Now the key is to keep these fresh in my mind to help me course-correct.

And what does "simplify" mean?  That one's not new, that word has resonated with me for years.  I just haven't always applied it.  But I need to get back to it.  It's the elimination of stuff, whether it's literal stuff or mental clutter or wasted pursuits that are neither productive or enjoyable or necessary.

This post is tagged so you can read some of my other thoughts on the subject if you're curious to see what I said last time I posted on the topic.

Wow... two posts in one day.  

What Just Happened?

So close to the end of the year, it was a busy, busy year. It was, wasn't it? That's what I always tell myself - that I'm busy. I feel like there's always more to do go. At one point I complained to Lori that there was something important to me (painting the fake trim in Ben's room) that I was never able to get to. She pointed out that I had some time off in December and why didn't I just plan to do it then. Brilliant advice, I was able to put it off my list and schedule it. That's a great "Getting Things Done" tactic. I was able to remove it from my mind because I was confident I knew where to find it if I needed it.

A lot happened, but what? Was it the right stuff? If I think back about the year, the following themes immediately come to mind. But they come to mind just because they come to mind right now. Not because they were strategic by any stretch of the imagination. Does it need to be strategic? Or can I just live in the moment? If I try to plan things out and have an agenda or goals, am I ruining the serendipity of life? I don't think so. If I want to be able to take stock of my life, I guess I need to know whether I got to what I wanted to or not in the past year.

• Family / Autism
• Health / Diet & Exercise
• "simplify" / Project Haven / clutter / Digital
• Home / Home Improvement
• Finances
• Work / Leadership / Career

So.. what's wrong with this list? What's missing? "Family" is probably too generic and everything is chore-related. Where's "fun"? Where's "adventure"? Where's church/Christianity/faith? My life is not without fun, entertainment, intellectual exploration. But if it didn't come to mind, does that mean there's an issue? I don't need to structure or plan my fun, but I might need to be intentional about making sure there's margin for fun to occur on its own, or if life remains crazy, some scheduled outings which at least plants a flag on the calendar that says "On this date, we will travel by car to x and remain there for y hours." which at least says "You will not be able to complete 24 chores today so plan ahead."

So balance is needed. I need to understand what the main things are and then make the main things the main things. I need to understand priority so investments are in the right places. Some of those are things to specifically target but other things are just things to keep in mind and make sure I'm addressing regularly so that when we get to the end of the year I can say "Yes, I am satisfied that I focused on the right things."

Caddy #simplify

Caddies are great - they hold a limited amount of stuff and have a convenient handle. Around here we've got them for cleaning supplies and I have one under the sink for the products I use on a regular basis. A recent water leak made me realize, however, that storing it out-of-sight, out-of-mind wasn't such a good thing as it had been filled up with junk over time:

I'd grab what I needed without really looking and the result was utter chaos. But when the area under the sink flooded, I pulled out the caddy, realized what a mess it was and it was quick work to get it back into shape. There's probably still a few more things than I need in there (a few travel items and then two gels because one's almost empty and two colognes because there was a bunch - always seem to get them in my stocking at Christmas - and I asked Lori which ones I should keep and which I should toss) but it sure feels better.

this hasn't gotten any simpler

So since April I've been trying to get a handle on my to do list. It's been a bit hit-and-miss but ultimately it's improved. I think I'm getting better at prioritizing what's really important.

April was also a bit of a turning point for my career. More recently, I've been working to leave the office on time and get home earlier.

Since January I've been trying to understand my mental state (I should re-read this more often) to better understand when I'm upset or out of sorts why and how to remedy.

A few weeks ago we reset our budget right after canceling a bunch of services, finally planning beyond just the month-to-month, but also taking a quarterly and yearly look at where we're going. The unexpected medical and car replacement played havoc, especially to our charitable giving, but with a yearly plan, we can aim to get back back to where we'd like.

I've almost reached my goal weight. And I'll be there soon enough.

I've really reduced the number of feeds I've been following and been clearing anything older than a week, until recently when I've been clearing it each night - if I didn't get to it that day, it must not have been important.

I've spent less time on social media. It wasn't so much intentional, it just kind of happened. But I'm fine with it.

What hasn't really happened is my goal of simplifying. I've written over 400 blog posts already this year, my backlog of magazines grows, I don't own less *stuff* and my garage and our family room is no less cluttered. I haven't taken more opportunities to be artistic and I haven't been as consistent in my reading as I'd liked. I have not done nearly enough for my faith either.

Project Haven

When things seem out of control, I naturally try to find ways to regain control of some element of my life. But with limits on finances and food due to a semi-failing diet, buying a new TV (or even lots of bags of mulch) are out of the question, as is drowning my frustration in a container of ice cream. In the past, this attempt to reassert control has even manifested itself as unfriending binges on Facebook. But since I instituted decided to cap my friends list at precisely 200, that sort of self-inflicted damage is also off the table. There's also just diving back in to the To Do list and trying to get some satisfaction there. But this week I couldn't bring myself to even that.

So, what's left is serious decluttering. This is an area where chaos reigns supreme and try as we might, it's something we've never fully been able to get a handle on. We're a busy family with, arguably, too much stuff. And probably insufficient, inadequate or inappropriate storage options. 

After this latest round of feeling out-of-control (the heat, this week's trip to the ER, the subsequent trip to A&W), I was again feeling the need to do something. I'm just grateful I have grown past the age of wanting to throw a tantrum, whine, say bad words or break stuff. I don't want to call it maturity, but maybe plain or boring practicality of knowing that won't solve anything. Or perhaps just realizing that I'm just too tired.

Yesterday morning I woke up before work with time to do a bunch of chores before leaving for work, but I couldn't bring myself to do them. Instead, I found myself on Thesaurus.com looking up the word "sanctuary." I was looking up the word because that's what a bedroom should be, in some sense of the word, and due to clutter, I've always thought ours failed us in that regard. And let me tell you, there are some great synonyms, like: asylum, retreat, refuge, base, harbor, haven, hideaway, safety, shelter, nest, enclave, shelter, burrow, cave, snuggery, cozy, escape, stronghold, seclusion, solitude.

From the Vault: Less and More Draft Post

This is one of the oldest surviving post in my draft folder.  I've been using draft a lot more to save ideas and photos for later posting, but it's also caused me to notice that there's really old stuff in here.  This gem from June 2009 suggests that I was struggling with priorities and expectations long before I decided to make 2012 the year of "Simplify" (a theme I'm still working in 2013).  Several other posts I deleted included one on all the magazines I was going to give up (some were harder to shake and some apparently have *really* long subscriptions) and online gaming (I gave up, then I added some but I'm pleased to say I'm not playing any of those online Facebook games that suck you in and then end up hooking you and then you hit the brick wall where everything stops if you don't start inserting quarters.)  In general, I've been spending less time on Facebook.

I have been thinking about the idea of a monthly (or weekly?) assessment so I can say... how'd I do this week?  Where'd I succeed, where'd I fail?  What could I do better?  What should I do more/less of?  What did Lori mention which might be a great Christmas/Birthday idea?

Ironically, it's probably quite possible that it was truly a simpler time in 2009, as crazy as it probably felt then.  I think we were in the mother-in-law overstays and before either child's diagnoses.

.... original post ...

Less

Internet (Facebook, Gmail, Reader, Twitter)
Television (Castle, Dollhouse?)
Chores
Yardwork
Screaming Baby
Driving, Car
Clutter
Incoming Mail

More

Outdoors
Ocean/Water
Relaxing
Reading

The Same

Wikipedia

Digital Simplification

Feeling frustrated earlier today about how much of a failure my theme of "Simplify" had been overall for the year, I decided to do something about that today.

* Deleted 32 apps from my iPhone.
* Deleted 10 apps from my iPad.
* Closed MyPoints account.
* Closed Sunrise account.
* Requested deletion of my Earndit account, after donating my points (immunize 4 children in India from Polio, provided 1 month of health care for 500 kids in Guatemala - both dependent on them hitting their goals)
* Reduced volume of Pinterest emails
* Reduced volume of Twitter emails
* Reduced volume of Google+ emails
* Unsubscribed from Manhattan Declaration
* Unsubscribed from Food Network
* Disconnected Sigfig, removed all subscriptions and requested cancelation
* Unsubscribed from All Star Ford
* Unsubscribed from Socl and deleted account
* Unsubscribed from ResumUP
* Reduced volume of MyAutismTeam emails
* Unsubcribed from 15 feeds in Google Reader
* Not today, but recently trimmed my Facebook friends of people who I don't interact with or who don't interact with me. Of course, not like I have time for Facebook or Twitter these days.

A few more to probably kill soon like e-rewards and epinions and probably more app deauthorizing to do in Facebook and Twitter.

Oh, and a trick that's been helping the past few months. At the end of each month, I create a new folder. And then I tell gmail to deliver all email (except Lori's) into that folder. That way, the number of emails on my iPhone directly relate to the number of work emails + Lori (minus any work ones that also skip the inbox). That way, I'm always only dealing with what's most recent, even when I go into that folder in gmail. Has really helped me keep my email closer to tame.

Weight loss update

It's been a long time since I posted an update. I keep meaning to, but then another day an another day goes by and now faced with so much lapsed time I'm asking myself if I really want to do the wok necessary to get caught up - and I've decided I don't - that it's not th best use of my time.

There's no evidence that it helped me stay accountable to post and no evidence that being so open about my own weight loss has helped anyone else, so I think it was jus clutter in the archives of this blog.

That said, things are coming along well - I'm down to 150.4 as of this morning - 5.4 pounds from goal and highly motivated to get there. I've gotten out of the habit of snacking late at night while exercising and I'm drinking a lot more water now (I'm addicted to the carbonated flavored waters). I am also mentally preparing for the need to replace most of my wardrobe - I've reached the point where stuff is just to big to the point of looking bad or becoming difficult to wear - like pants - so much bunched material at waistline that it's annoying/uncomfortable.

So I am going to donate a lot to charity with the goal of keeping a much smaller set of coordinating clothes. That should lend to simplicity and allow me to be more consistent in my presentation and mean less laundry - not Steve Jobsian with a single outfit uniform, but a narrow enough set that it becomes my "style".

I am apprehensive because that will involve some cost and some research (because this is not my strong suit heh) and probably also maintaining a wish list so people who like buying me clothes don't risk buying me something that I'll immediately return or donate.

But yeah, I like the idea of a consistency or predictability, my own personal style guide for fashion, if you will.

I am also anxious about the idea that this could make shopping more unbearable because I'm money-conscious. I guess I need to finish my personal vision/mission process so i can use it to help inform.

simplicity

Onward, the series continues.

My last entry bugged me for awhile but I had trouble figuring out why. Finally, I realized that it was because it was more of a list (and probably incomplete) than any sort of examination. Oh well. Perhaps it was one that's harder for me to pin down.

Anyhow... Today's is a good one, though one I won't spend a lot of time on because it's a variant on this Year's motto of "simplify" -- simplicity.

To me, simplicity is the opposite of mentally taxing. That's something that just works, that's the absence of stress, it's a calmness of being exactly what's needed and nothing more. It's not dumbed down, but it's also not veiled, hinted or obtuse. I realize that to get there is actually more work, but it's a place I want to be.

Work is not cooperating (A Work-Related Post)

My desire to simplify in 2012 has met with an nasty obstacle: my job.

Entering into evidence exhibits A and B:

Now, granted, I actually blocked a full half of my calendar for the week and did not attend any meetings (except for a two-hour phone call on Wednesday) but it's not like I otherwise was able to get caught up. I sat at the computer working, even worked (partially to make up for the time tomorrow when I have to take Ben to therapy) a few more hours last night after the children were in bed (Lori was at her mom's helping her with her post-surgery recovery) and I'm still just getting further and further behind.

These have actually been pretty cleaned up - at one point on Monday I was quadruple booked. I've still got a few overlaps I need to deal with, but I've started publishing my full calendar out to the entire org because this is beyond crazy, it's just plain stupid.

I have no time to work on the action items that result from all these meetings. (And no, I can't delegate - people are specifically asking for me.  If there's any delegation to be done, this is the post-delegation calendar. Two groups were fighting over a lunch-time meeting today because they wanted me at their meeting that had to be today.)

Simplifying Google Reader

Another area that I've been feeling is overwhelming is Google Reader.  So I began cutting it back.  Still, there are 184 links.  That's too many.  I was going to make a list, but I'm not still done paring, and if they are ones I'm not interested in following anymore, why would you want a list of them?

Though I will note that I dropped Inhabitat. While the architectural stuff is interesting, I know enough to know that their posts are sometimes wildly inaccurate, sometimes written by people who have no clue what they're writing about - like the tour of 15th. Ave Tea & Coffee that was actually posted months after it became a Starbucks and dang if those people at Inhabitat don't scream (not cry) wolf at least once a month. Talk about alarmist to the point of "Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Geez. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.

I have found now that I'm no longer running The Sift, I'm not feeling compelled to watch the links so closely for content that might be useful to that site. It's allowed me to be a lot more picky about what I bother to read, it's allowed me to skim much quicker, and it's meant if I don't bother to look at Google Reader for a day or two (or three) that I have to be all that worried about the avalanche that awaits me.

Blog Overload

Does anyone really need more than one blog? I don't think so. I maintained several, but really to what end? One had outlived its original intent and two others were half-baked attempts to make money. But I lacked the time and effort and money necessary to invest in their success, so they simply became drains on my time, distractions from the other things I wanted to do. So near the end of last month, I closed them down. I didn't delete them, the traffic will still earn me a few pennies a month. But I won't actively maintain them and probably not produce new content for them.

This blog, too, will not keep up last year's experiment of a post-a-day. Again, to what end? I'll post when I have something truly worth sharing. And I won't look for it to make money or bring me fame. I will own it, it will not own me. (Like I mentioned on 12/31, I had already begun pre-populating, so the pace of one-a-day will continue for a few more days, but it's no longer a goal I'm aiming for.)

Goodbyes to:

• Federal Way Graffiti
• 100 Calories
• The Sift

tvjames x blog and dad2be will remain, although dad2be's been pretty dormant for some time now.

Things

As with all new years, it provides the opportunity for new starts, new beginnings, new attempts to better ourselves (yes, you know where I'm going with this), new goals for oneself, the dreaded new year's resolutions.

After years of varying participation from the not-really-hipster not-really-ironic mostly-just-idiotic "I resolve to have no resolutions" to a full-out multi-point plan with a number of objectives.

But you know what? Even those are just things. I have too many things. Phsyical, mental, it's all clutter. So, for this year, I'm going to have a simple motto:

Simplify.

That's it.  That's the entire deal.   What does that mean in practice?   I'm letting most of my magazine subscriptions lapse.  I haven't been able to keep up anyway.   I'll go through my wardrobe - I don't need this many clothes.   I'm going to stop getting new books from the library - I own plenty I still need to read.  I'm going to unsubscribe like stuff like crazy.  I'm going to take a long, hard look at my social media usage.  And my Google Reader subscriptions.  And my blogging.  And my Remember the Milk tasks.  And on and on and on.   I'll volunteer less.

Maybe.

Because that last paragraph?  That's crazy.  That is absolutely the antithesis of Simplify.  And that's how it starts.  Take a great idea and ruin it with complexity.
No.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Simplify.


Certainly, some things are non-negotiable.  God, family, work, friends.  Can't really (and wouldn't want to) reduce those experiences.  But simplification elsewhere may free up more time for those experiences that truly matter.  (Composed 11/26 at 10:20 pm.)