Ok, now we've had a chuckle at MSNBC's expense. But the list is still worth reading, especially if you take Lori's interpretation that the last one means performing Google searches and stuff.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-TALK and they're available 24/7 if you feel like anything on the list above might describe you and you feel like you want to reach out to someone for help. Don't suffer through anything alone.
(You can call me and I'll pray with you, but I'm not trained like these other people are.)