Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Dear @DairyQueen - you might be confused

click to enlarge

So... yeah... @DairyQueen... buddy... friend... two things... first, I think you might be mistaken.  I do think one million dollars and an all-inclusive trip to Tahiti might be better than a Blizzard.  Please send my wife and I one million dollars, two Blizzards and send us on an all-inclusive trip to Tahiti.  We'll carefully research and compare and let you know our findings.

Secondly, "buy one, get one free" isn't exactly free.  Shouldn't you send this to my friends instead and let them know that it's my birthday and that they can get me a cheap gift by driving me to Dairy Queen and buying themselves a Blizzard on my birthday and you'll throw one in for me for free?  Yeah, a little more snarky than we're used to from the DQ, eh?

Just don't start calling yourself "the deek" and we'll be fine.  As soon as I typed that, I had a bad feeling and went to Google.  Et tu, DQ?  Deeqs?  Really?

But seriously, get back to me so we can work out travel dates for the trip to Tahiti and what flavor Blizzards we'd like.  We'd like the million in hundreds in wrapped stacks in a briefcase, just because that would be awesome.  (if it doesn't fit, put the rest in a duffel bag or a cashier's check.  And don't forget to pay taxes.  Don't want to go to jail, you know.)
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