"Consumerist is about to name us the worst company ever. Again."
"Sigh. Why does this keep happening, Jenkins?"
"There's perception out th--"
"Yes, yes, I know all that. But why don't people just leave us alone? Why must they complain and make my life miserable. Why are they going to call us that this time?"
"It's their annual poll. We're up against Charter in the final round."
"What? It's a voting thing? Easy. We can stuff the ballot box. Send a memo. All of the staff must vote."
"Sir, are you sure that's wise?"
"Send out a memo. They should each spend an hour today at their desks voting."
"Actually, sir, they can only vote once per computer."
"Fine. Have them vote at work, at home and on their phones. Maybe they can all stop by a public library on their way home. Why can't we stuff the ballot box like they do on the American Idol show my daughter watches?"
"This could backfire."
"What could possibly go wrong?"
"It's an internal memo."
"Someone could share it. Or tweet it. Or post it to Facebook. Or send it to Consumerist."
"Nonsense. No one really uses that internet but rich kids with too much free time on their hands."
"We have a whole team dedicated to Social Media, sir."
"Social Media? Are you out of your mind, Jenkins? I'm telling you this is a fad. A whole team? What do they do? Play that Angry Birds game my wife likes so much all day long?"
"I don't think a memo is a good i--"
"It's an internal memo. It's for internal use. Just like all of our other memos. It won't get out."
Today, the @ComcastCares people must be hating life.
THE CONSUMERIST -- Here's Your Lineup For Worst Company In America 2011!
THE CONSUMERIST -- Comcast Begs Employees To Vote For Charter In Worst Company In America Poll