Thursday, March 27, 2008

Crappy Dad

I didn't even say good morning to my daughter this morning. I feel really crappy about that. Lori's mom once again managed to wake up Rachel as she often does with her making-too-much-noise in the mornings as she always does. And, Rachel, as always, went right to her. She knows that if she comes to us, we're more likely to tell her it's too early and that she needs to go back to bed. But grandma will sit with her and talk and get her snacks and stuff. So I was really mad at Lori's mom (she also woke up Lori this morning) and didn't want to speak to her, so I breezed through as quickly as possible to get out the door. But in the process, also completely failed to recognize Rachel's presence. And I feel just awful about that. Fortunately, I'll at least get to see Lori and Rachel for lunch today.

But Lori's mom has got to leave. I am at the breaking point again. I'm going to try to shove it down deep inside me and be back to my polite and accepting self by the time I get home tonight, and I think I have a good shot at it, but more and more lately the voice inside my head is shouting "GETOUTGETOUTGETOUGETOUT"

Pray for me. Pray for her. Pray for all of us.

No comments: