Friday, April 25, 2014

Influence (7 of 10)

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This is day 7 of my look at "Becoming a Person of Influence: How to Positively Impact the Lives of Others" by by John C. Maxwell and Jim Dornan.

Chapter 7: A Person of Influence Navigates for Other People

It isn't just about coaxing someone across a single rickety bridge or telling someone how to cross an ocean, it's crossing the ocean with them, and perhaps even steering some of the time. You've been here before. You know what to look out for, you know what to anticipate. You show them it's possible. Not just because you're standing on the other shore, but because you're out there in the thick of it with them. They are the trainee and this is on-the-job training. But you have to know the destination and help them to see it. But it's also more than that. It's beyond just showing them a vision, or even getting them to embrace a vision, this is movement towards that vision. This will not happen in a day. It will take time, it will take patience, it will take an investment. It will mean not doing something else. Continuous encouragement is also critical.

That only works when you understand what impacts them:

  • What touches their hearts? Where is their compassion? (What do they cry about?)
  • What gets their heart-rate up? Where is their passion? (What do they sing about?)
  • Where does their heart want to go? Where is their desire? (What do they dream about?)

This will be the difficult part - trying to find that out about people. I suppose this is where lots of time spent with people listening, teasing that out. Not in a checklist, but just listening for it when it's offered, maybe gently guiding the conversation.
"Happiness, wealth and success are by-products of goal-setting; they cannot be the goal themselves." -- John Condry
This can't be a single big leap, it needs to be small steps. The big leap is overwhelming. But the taste of success, a step at a time, builds courage and momentum.

Things everyone needs to understand:

  1. Everybody faces problems -- You will not reach a point where you have no problems and that cannot be the goal. But, you cannot mentor someone well in an area where you still have those same problems.
  2. Successful People Face More Problems than Unsuccessful People -- And the more successful, the more challenging. (Like a video game.)
  3. Money Doesn't Solve Problems -- Financial issues are usually a symptom of some other problem.
  4. Problems Provide an Opportunity for growth
What can you do in the face of a problem?
  1. Retreat into the past
  2. Daydream about the future
  3. Retreat within and wait for rescue
  4. Face the crisis and transform it into something useful
Course corrections are inevitable. People need to anticipate them, plan for them, know how to react to them. Course corrections are not an indication of any sort of failure, but making them (quickly, gracefully, often, intelligently) is the sign of someone who's on the right track.

Problem solving:
  1. Thinking about the problem (make it specific)
  2. Form theories
  3. Forecast the consequences of implementing the theories
  4. Choose the one that best fits the big picture
Simple is better than clever. Wrong-but-quick is better than possibly-correct-but-slow-to-deliver.

  1. Identify the destination of the three people you've decided to enlarge.
  2. Look ahead - what are the difficulties they are likely to face in the near future?
  3. Plan ahead - how can I help them navigate these potential problems?
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