Monday, September 19, 2005

Kill me, kill me now.

First off, the webcam shot of me leaning forward, staring at the screen is just awful. Fortunately, it will be gone by the time anyone reads this, hopefully.

Anyhow, I need to rant. The powers that be and a few powers that think they be have determined that we need a new website.

Since I'm the guy who does the websites, naturally, people are looking to me on this. I have aspirations to leadership, so I'll humor them. But it really ticks me off because in order to do this, I'm essentially proposing policy. The only way to actually do what they want done involves a bit of a change in mindset, a change in the way things are done.

Problem is, that my changes would occur in a vacuum. We have a whole department here... an every-other-month magazine, a weekly brochure, posters, directional signage, call-in recordings, and so on, and so on. So really, to build my new system, without actually taking any of this into consideration does not bode well. It sets me up for (a) failure or (b) a lot more work trying to make people understand the system. On top of that, I guarantee that if this system for the website is not the same system used for the rest of the communication, then it will not get used, because the website is an afterthought, an also ran. It's not critical, it's not important, it's not on people's radars.

The powers that be and the powers that think they be strongly indicate that it is and are pushing for it to be even moreso. But the people who require the advertising the most are the ones who think the least about the website. (In an ideal world, they wouldn't think about any of it -- they would submit their advertising requirements and let the Communications Department determine the best course of action.)

The other part of this equation that utterly sucks is that I'm not management. I can propose all I want. I can even get buy-in, approval and possibly even enactment of my vision. But why? I'm not in a leadership position. I'm not paid and in the general course of things, my input is not valued. Sometimes I feel downright hostility for even presenting ideas. I'm starting to learn when and when not to speak up. Sometimes I have to let people make bonehead mistakes. Even if it means more work for me. That just means other worthy projects have to wait on the sidelines while mistakes are made and then cleaned up.

In all this, I risk offending my boss. He's not a good boss, he's not a good leader. He's admitted in so many words that he's not a manager, doesn't like managing people and would much rather just be creative. And offending my boss isn't just having someone upset at me, it's having someone then be hypercritical of everything I am working on or have done in the past as a way of passive-aggressively retaliating, even so far as demanding changes to stuff that he's ultimately been responsible for the final design or process mechanism on.

But the best part of all? I now have a very stale presentation to make tomorrow. It's been postponed several times because people couldn't make it. Most recently, because my boss never looks at his calendar and decided to stay home and telecommute. Then I was on vacation. We scheduled it for tomorrow, one of the four times before the end of October when all parties could meet. Again, he didn't consider his calendar and planned to have a contractor come to his house tomorrow to start on his addition, so he won't be here.

My other boss, when he found out, said "No more rescheduling. We are having the meeting tomorrow."

And my boss' boss, when he found out, said we have to trust God's providence regarding who actually attends the meeting. It's not that I don't trust God, it's just that my fanatasies of what God's plan might entail just doesn't in any way include this guy skipping the meeting. It includes him quitting or getting fired, but who's to say that I'm qualified for his particular job, and I know he won't quit or get fired. He's too happy here muddling along maintaining and not innovating.

3 comments:

Lori said...

That's just stupid. Your boss should actually look at his calendar once in a while.

I don't think everything that happens is God moving chess pieces around. Sometimes people are just stupid. The meeting may still proceed, but it would be much more effective with the freakin' Communications Director present.

I think sometimes people are being purposely naive, or unwilling to take a stand/be decisive, when they say that something is due to God's providence. Perhaps that shows that I have less faith than your boss’ boss does or am more cynical, but I think it's just looking at the situation realistically. It was stupid and thoughtless of your boss to make those plans without consulting his work schedule. No reason why the contractor *had* to pour the foundation tomorrow instead of another day, but that's when your boss scheduled it for, and when he was reminded of the meeting, he didn't bother trying to reschedule. That's being a poor employee, and a poor boss.

I don't think that God directed your boss to stay home or caused him to forget about the meeting.

Sometimes people doing stupid stuff is just people doing stupid stuff.

When you start talking about this kind of stuff, it just seems really clear to me that you should be looking for a different job. You're utterly convinced that your boss will never leave, and you're not working in the capacity you feel you should be working in. This is your second workday back, and already you're fed up again.

Your options are basically to wait and see if things change, to change your attitude, or to change your situation yourself. I don't see the situation changing at your workplace until they get someone new in charge (in your boss’ boss’ role, most likely, since the leadership needs to trickle down from him first). So it seems like one of the other two things need to happen. And I don't mean change your attitude as in repeating to yourself a mantra about not caring, and stifling your desire to be a leader.

If you really feel you should be in leadership, I think you need to look for a way to do it, even if that means leaving your current workplace.

Unknown said...

Though you have yet to write the post-mortum on the meeting, I can presuppose a few things. First, that nothing got resolved (because, as we all know, nothing gets resolved in a meeting). Second, that you spent a large portion of the meeting entertaining yourself, not really caring what others were thinking or feeling (I'd like to take credit for that trait of yours, but you were pretty much that way when we first met). Third, that you need a new job.

I realize I bounce around at the rate of one job a year for the past five years, and I have my various reasons. But a large part of why I move on is because, if I'm going to waste 40 hours a week away from my home, family, friends, etc., it had better be something I enjoy doing... something challenging/rewarding... something that benefits me, if not others. I bore easily... and I resent authority. Maybe you can relate.

Just my usual two and half cents.

I'm off to go try to figure out why I can't post pictures to my blog without restarting Orange County's power grid.

Lori said...

That's just stupid. Your boss should actually look at his calendar once in a while.

I don't think everything that happens is God moving chess pieces around. Sometimes people are just stupid. The meeting may still proceed, but it would be much more effective with the freakin' Communications Director present.

I think sometimes people are being purposely naive, or unwilling to take a stand/be decisive, when they say that something is due to God's providence. Perhaps that shows that I have less faith than your boss’ boss does or am more cynical, but I think it's just looking at the situation realistically. It was stupid and thoughtless of your boss to make those plans without consulting his work schedule. No reason why the contractor *had* to pour the foundation tomorrow instead of another day, but that's when your boss scheduled it for, and when he was reminded of the meeting, he didn't bother trying to reschedule. That's being a poor employee, and a poor boss.

I don't think that God directed your boss to stay home or caused him to forget about the meeting.

Sometimes people doing stupid stuff is just people doing stupid stuff.

When you start talking about this kind of stuff, it just seems really clear to me that you should be looking for a different job. You're utterly convinced that your boss will never leave, and you're not working in the capacity you feel you should be working in. This is your second workday back, and already you're fed up again.

Your options are basically to wait and see if things change, to change your attitude, or to change your situation yourself. I don't see the situation changing at your workplace until they get someone new in charge (in your boss’ boss’ role, most likely, since the leadership needs to trickle down from him first). So it seems like one of the other two things need to happen. And I don't mean change your attitude as in repeating to yourself a mantra about not caring, and stifling your desire to be a leader.

If you really feel you should be in leadership, I think you need to look for a way to do it, even if that means leaving your current workplace.