Lockdown (Parenting and Autism)

Living with an autistic child who doesn't understand safety means we live in perpetual lock-down.  Most days, every interior door is locked and every bi-fold door has a lock at the top as well.  And when  a door or room isn't locked, it will often be blocked by a movable child gate/fence.

Without, he'll get into the refrigerator, the pantry, his sister's toys, linens.  He'll take pens, silverware, dirty dishes waiting for the dishwasher.  Any liquid in a container is at risk to either be drank or poured all over, be it juice, window cleaner, shampoo or salad dressing.  His floor is a virtual rainbow of spilled materials containing dyes that despite our best efforts we've been unable to completely clean.  The worst was the SoftSoap - that left yellow stains that make you immediately think of something else instead.

Near every door is a key and heaven help us when he figures out how they work because he's often with us when we unlock a door or close enough to see what we're doing.  So far, his interest has simply been in opening and closing unlocked doors, or venturing into rooms where we've left a door unlocked.

It also means that upstairs the house is always dark with all the doors locked.  It means every task takes longer and you have to plan what you're carrying in such a way that you'll be able to have a hand free to unlock a door, or that it's something you can easily set down.  When taking laundry down, it means standing at the top of the stairs and holding the door handle until he's come over and tried it a few times and then given up and walked away.

And it means that sometimes even our daughter is locked out of areas, in cases where the lock is at the top of the door, with some internal doors with flip locks or the bi-fold cabinets.  (Though that's fine to keep her out of food when she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to eat food instead of going back to sleep.)

This isn't exactly a complaint, but it's a weird observation to think of a lockdown and how it makes us feel like we're wardens handling moves management, even if we're trying to mostly keep someone *out* of an area versus *in*.

Context

I have been struggling with Matthew 20:1-16 lately.  To summarize, a landowner goes to a place where day laborers hang out and hires some guys at an agreed-upon wage.  Later in the day, he returns and hires some more guys.  He does that a few times.  At the end of the day, he pays them all, starting with those who worked the shortest amount of time.  The guys who worked all day noticed that these guys who worked a lot less were being paid the same wage they agreed to.  So as they wait in line, they start to think that maybe they'll be paid more.  But when they receive their pay, it's what they agreed to in the morning but now they're bitter.

I have always seen it as an instruction to "suck it up, cupcake," especially in light of frustrations at work.  I'm still collecting a salary for the work I'm doing and it's the work I've agreed to do and the salary I've agreed to.  Only for whatever reason I might have now felt bitter - there was a suggestion or hint of something else that didn't come to be, there might be someone else in a similar role who makes more, things like that.

But after reading the whole passage again this morning, I wonder if I've been missing the point or not reading the full context.  That maybe, as Rick Warren likes to remind us, it's not about me.  Maybe this is isn't about the workers but about the prerogative of the landowner and maybe it points to generosity.  That might still hold an element of "suck it up-ness" but maybe that's just tangential to the illustration --   a reminder of God's full gift of grace, mercy, love, hope, peace and truth to all people, no matter when they accept it, that there's no sliding scale for age or something.

However... If I were to make it about me, there's still a lot I could glean from this passage:

Idea: Calorie Tax

San Francisco has been in the news recently for attempts to ban toys from children's meals at fast food restaurants.

And New York has been in the news recently for attempts to ban sugary drinks over a certain size.

Both attempts have been nearly universally decried by people who just see "the man" trying to tell them what to do or how to live.

If I understand correctly (and I may not), the actual attempt in boh cases is the better health of their citizens, not just because they feel a moral obligation to protect people from their own stupidity (like requiring helmets or seat belts) but I think it's also because of the burden that unhealthy behavior puts on society, especially in the case of health care costs.

So I was wondering... if you can't ban unhealthy behaviors (you could always buy multiple small sugary beverages or drive outside the city limits), why not tax it?  If our insurance companies charge us based on our annual driving or our gasoline is taxed based on how many gallons we purchase, why not tax calories?

To me, if the ultimate goal is healthier behavior and a reduction in health care costs, it seems that simply preventing the availability of something doesn't actually help that to happen - it's only when people understand the implications do they actually consider changing their behavior.  And if every 10 calories costs you a penny, people start paying attention - the businesses who suddenly have to confront the idea that their food might not be healthy, as well as customers who have to decide whether they want to pay an extra $1.36 (1,360 calories) for the Burger King Triple Whopper Combo meal (that's with a diet soda that has no calories and a small fries and no ketchup for your fries) or $1.13 (1,134 calories) for a 40oz Dr. Pepper at Taco Bell.

Of course, they would need to list the surcharges separately on the receipt and menu board so that they'd be visible to everyone.  And the taxes would need to go into a fund that helps with medical care.

But you don't change behavior by taking something away, you change behavior by helping people make smarter choices by showing them the true costs of their actions.

Shot

Anyone who's read this blog for any length of time knows that I desire a simpler life than the one I have.  There are many parts I cannot change, but one area I can change is clutter.  There was a time when I thought I was going to be single my whole life.  I had often wondered if I could make do with a van and a gym membership.  But I had a cat and I still believed I'd find someone, so I opted against that lifestyle.  Plus, it would have been harder back then - phones were big, clunky with limited batteries and you couldn't watch TV on them.  Wireless data plans and cell phone charging were hard to come by and there were far fewer 24-hour Wal*Marts where you could park overnight to have access to a bathroom.  

Anyhow, back to my point... uncluttering... I don't know why, but the other day the thought popped into my head "If there was a fire, what would I grab?"  Certainly, the family and the cat, but what kinds of stuff would I grab?  There's a tall dresser in our room that has a few of Lori's collectibles and then a bunch of mine: a few wooden train cars and a who bunch of shot glasses.

I used to collect them when I went on trips.  Now, to look at them, I just shake my head and wonder what was I thinking.  Here's a bunch of simple pieces of glass with something painted on them, made in China and then horrendously marked up.  

This comic ("How to Learn About Someone by Examining Their Possessions," Basic Instructions, 2013-02-28) didn't help.  Well, maybe it did.  

Everyday Protection

Why would I want to get a flu shot every day?  If I were going to get one, I'd like one that would last awhile.

Door Buddy

Just got this awesome new product from Amazon called "Door Buddy" - it affixes to your garage door rail and it's such a big timesaver. I no longer need to close car doors. You just get in and go. The soft foam of the Door Buddy gently pushes your car doors closed when you exit the garage. Especially great for kids who have trouble closing car doors on their own or just busy people like me who want to get in and go. Comes in pink (shown) or white or blue. I went with pink because I thought it was easier to see.

You can get them from Amazon for $8.99 each (you'll want two per garage door).  

Disclaimer: These links are tagged with my affiliate link.  By purchasing, you help me fund my coffee addiction.  

Murmurations (A Work-Related Post)

These are fascinating:





I was watching them the other day with my daughter and, as always, my mind drifted to work. So, some thoughts on murmurations as an analogy for a company:

* From inside the murmuration, you can't see the whole picture. You need to have a pretty good understanding of your part, but try as you might, you won't be able to comprehend the whole. You need to be confident that you can rely on those around you and be committed to the whole. You need to know enough about your mission to know whether or not you're aimed in the right direction.

* From outside the murmuration, you can't exactly understand why they're doing what they're doing. If they can't completely comprehend it inside, good luck trying to understand it from the outside as a consultant, vendor or financial analyst.