Greetings, all. Before I begin, let me give a nod to a friend. He also makes observations, but with less news, more opinion.

Now, let's dive in. So, what Simpson's character are you?

It turns out that if you have a hearing aid, you probably can't use a cell phone. What's worse, if someone uses one near you, you hear loud noises as a result. That sucks.

Some lame-oid actually got a patent for downloading a piece of a song. Lame lame lame. On the other hand, they're suing my former and now defunct employer, among others. Amazon already paid them hush money to go away. To quote Nelson, ^ha _ha!

In the interest of fairness, I have to report that Cingular also added fewer subscribers than they expected in the fourth quarter.

Attention all geeks! You can now buy a Gateway PC customized especially for playing Sony's online game Everquest. Geek

In the "if it weren't Microsoft it'd be news" department... Microsoft reorgs MSN and UltimateTV and stuff and someone sues Microsoft.

Actually, in that last one, I want to delve a little deeper. AOL is suing Microsoft because it says unfair business practices deprived Netscape of lots of revenue. Ok, first off, there are plenty of free and shareware programs out there that do the same thing as other programs that you can buy at Best Buy. But they aren't made by Microsoft, so they don't get noticed. Secondly, anyone who wanted to could get Netscape for free. Only stupid people paid for Netscape. Third, Netscape has gotten progressively worse as a program. You can't blame your own lameness on Microsoft. And if that weren't enough, AOL put its own gain ahead of all by bundling Microsoft's Internet Explorer with AOL. Because AOL's sheer size, that led to a lot higher adoption rates of IE. Which in turn depressed Netscape, even after AOL owned Netscape. Which seems to make AOHELL partially to blame for Netscape's demise. That and the use of Java. Ugh! So for AOL to now sue Microsoft is lame. But they'll win because they're on the east coast and skilled whiners. Did I mention that NETSCAPE SUCKS? Netscape always sucked. Ever since version 3. It got bigger and bigger and bigger. It moved slower and slower. I can't even run Netscape 6 on my old computer because it uses frigging Java and is slower than a dog. Repeat after me. Microsoft is evil but Netscape is dumb and AOL is eviler. I remember clearly the day that I said to my then co-workers "Wouldn't it suck if someday I actually tried Internet Explorer and liked it? That would suck. I'll always use Netscape. I'll never switch to the dark side." Of course, we now know that there's a place darker than the dark side. And its name is AOHELL.

This is kind of interesting... they took a town in Sweden and wired it to work like the next generation of cell phones would and invited companies to advertise on the phones. Lots of people took the bait.

I don't understand all the network swapping that's going on. Nor do I really care all that much. Except that I can't believe anyone would hire that Gretchen chick (why the long face?) and I guess this is kinda big, because it's Connie Chung. (Leaving ABC for CNN.) Now it's just like big companies kicking sand at one another.

And an interesting article on how the Israelis are picking the wrong targets and how they should go after the propagandizing Palestinian media outlets.

Speaking of sucks to be you... stand up before you flush the toilet on a plane. (submitted by Fady)

And lastly... XXXChurch... the #1 Christian Porn website. (submitted by Tim)