There's a song on the country station I listen to. It's called Riding with Private Malone. And it's lame. If you haven't heard it, here's a quick synopsis. This guy gets out of the service and is looking through the paper and comes across the ad for a Chevy for $1,000. Well, turns out it's a classic (a 'vette, I think) and it still runs. He feels guilty only giving her $1,000 for it. Even more interesting, there's a note in the glove box from the woman's son. Apparently before he went off to war, he had the foresight to write a note, just in case he didn't come back, you know. Anyhow, the guy gets the car in working order, all polished up, like brand new. He drives it around and claims that sometimes he can see the military guy sitting next to him in the seat. (huh? You mean like the ghosts at the end of The Haunted Mansion?) And does that apply when he has women in the car, too, or just when he's driving by himself (lonely?). Well, then the guy wrecks the car and blacks out in the process. People who witnessed the crash say a soldier dragged the guy to safety but they never got his name. So let me get this straight... a guy goes and rips off an old lady buying a classic car for far less than it's worth, and then said guy wrecks the car, and the car's original owner, and son of the woman ripped off -- now a ghost -- rescues the guy from the car? That makes no sense. If I were the ghost, I'd be like "Well that's what you get for ripping off my mom and then wrecking my car. Burn, sucker."

And from the lighter side...

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."

The bartender dusted off a bottle from the shelf and gave it to him.

The head of Budweiser said, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."

The bartender gave him one.

The Coors chief said, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."

The bartender got it.

The Guinness man sat down and stated, "Give me a Coke."

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gave it to him.

The other brewery presidents looked at him and asked, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"

The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."