And now it's done (or undone)

SBC buys AT&T.

Criminal Mind: Ideal Virus

If I were creating viruses, for a living or whatever, here's the virus I would create. It would be more apt to thrive in a business environment than a home computer, so it might have a short life since a lot of companies have good virus programs. But, here's how it would work.

First, it would look through your inbox and figure out who you correspond with most often. Then, it would scan subjects. Thirdly, it would look to see what attachments were most commonly used. Then, it would respond to the e-mail in your inbox with a short message like "I'm not sure I like where this is heading. I've attached some of my own figures." or "I'd go a different route. Take a look at this idea." or "Oh... before I forget, check out this out. My friend sent it to me. It's pretty funny."... something like that. And sign their name at the bottom.

Maybe even a variant that identifies e-mails that were forwarded multiple times and then pass it on to a bunch of people in the address book. Then it would just look like they were forwarding an annoying joke or something.

It would include an attachment that when opened, appeared to be blank. You would be infected at that point, but you would just think your colleague or friend sent you a blank e-mail and you'd write back going "Uh, what did you send me?"

I think it would spread like wildfire.

Sad People

Ok, so GM had some dumb marketing campaign idea to put billboards up all over the country. Well, more specifically, apparently mostly just the edges of the contiguous US. Screw the middle and Alaska and Hawaii. But it was kind of dumb. Each billboard only contains a single word and the website address. The website itself is kind of sad, because it simply serves to point out where all the billboards are, or will be. And that makes it a little sad because it seems a little too self-congratulating. In any case, not all the billboards are up yet but the website tells you where they eventually will be. But that didn't stop hackers from looking into the website and figuring out all the words already.

To make things weirder, GM added a message board where people can talk about what they think the message will be, or what it all means. It would be a little more interesting if GM didn't slather its logo all over the place. Kind of takes away a lot of the mystery.

Anyhow, looking at it today, I came across a sad exchange between two people. The first is a person living in the Hollywood Hills and doesn't own a car, yet admits to spending two hours on this site. That alone worries me, there isn't enough on this site to hold anyone's interest for 2 minutes. Secondly, they seem to be having a mental fight with themselves and trying to somehow stuff capitalism into a liberal construct and getting hopelessly confused. And finally, there's the conservative isolationist who takes the time to accuse them of ADHD and other fun stuff in this rather interesting, or sad interchange.

Farewell, Johnny

Johnny Carson passed away today at the age of 79.

Shania, what happened?

Some would say she never fell because she never flew.

Back in college, there was a great radio station called "Young Country" in Seattle. Actually, it was one of those national brands that I think flopped. But they had this advance release of a song called "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under" which was a fun, catchy little song and the DJ predicted big things for the new artist. I remember hearing that one day and remember them making the prediction.

Although much cooler was the unauthorized "Whose Bed/Pour Some Sugar On Me" (Def Leppard) remix that they would play. Not your average country station, that. I think Shania was married at the time to the guy who did the sound editing for Def Leppard or something.

Anyhow, she has this new song called Party for Two. I haven't really been interested in much of anything she's put out lately and each time this song would come on MusicMatch, I'd hit the skip button and queue up the next song. I was in the car the other day and thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

Remember in the 80's they'd get as many sitcom stars together as possible for a Made-for-TV movie? The plot was always the same. The prom/big party/etc. is at the end of the week. Exposition is people hanging out talking about it. Then the thing happens. And then the next half the movie takes place between the end of the event and the next morning. Lots of the kids end up in a restaurant talking, some kids regret nearly having sex, some parents finally track down their kids after a wild night of missteps, and parents and kids come to a better understanding and respect for one another. Invariably in those movies there would be one or more made-for-the-movie songs. Often performed by a "band" at the dance/big party/etc.

Well, this song "Party for Two" sounded like it had been written for that purpose. To be background noise, occasionally potted way down as character spoke to one another in the foreground while the "band" was out of focus in the background and people acted like they were dancing even though there was no beat for them to dance to since the music was added later. That is, this song stunk really bad.

Now I know Shania Twain has become VH1's "Awesomely Badder Fashion" go-to gal, never letting them down, but why does this song suck so bad? And why have all recent songs been stinkers propelled only by her bizarre fashion statement at awards shows and her former rapid rise?

Scream Like You Mean It

This is interesting... a scream was recorded and used in a movie in 1951 and then added to Warner Bros.'s sound effects library. A few sound editors have turned it into sort of an inside joke or something and use the sound whenever they can in movies. It's kind of cool, but on the other hand, explains why screams all sound the same. I mean, when you try to run over people in Carmageddon (a video game), they scream and I've heard that same scream in TV ads. Maybe it's that a scream is hard to make distinct from another scream, so it becomes pointless to waste the money recording new ones? Link is in title.

Failed Cards

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?

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I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.