Monday, October 12, 2009

Again to Hear of Passing in Passing

So, again I find out of another death belated.   I knew Marcus from the Buffy days, a very congenial guy from San Diego.  I'd only connected with him in person a handful of times, but online many, many times over the years.  He always remembered birthdays, was always sending encouraging words, posting notes on Facebook.  One of those people who are always a better friend to you than you are to them.  He was single, lived on a boat and drove a Mustang, some cool vibes all wrapped up in that.

Well, as we were leaving town, Lori gets a nasty note from someone on Facebook that she didn't know.  A little while back, Lori took what turned out to be a bogus quiz on Facebook and the quiz took the liberty then of spamming lots of people's walls with inappropriate content trying to sell stuff.  Lori thought she had gotten it all cleaned up, but this person was incensed that Lori would post such a thing on Marcus' wall, calling her a troll.  Lori quickly wrote back apologizing and explaining and then removed the post and thanked the person for letting her know of Marcus' passing. 

Kind of made for a bit of a bummer for the start of our trip and I don't mean that lightly.  Marcus had been sick for some time and we knew it was an incredible struggle for him.  Marcus had also seemed to have no interest in religion, no place for God. 

Life was what it was, a period of time and then you die, and the cards he'd been dealt hadn't been a good hand.

I was reading Marcus' wall today and looked like he'd been playing online on Facebook, updating all of his photos, and I read that he'd been found in his car and that attempts to notify any next of kin had been fruitless.

I had also remembered that on Friday morning we'd discovered that he had his own website that neither Lori or I knew about.  So I went to visit it - a single page describing the fact that he was going to fold his hand.  His attempts at disability denied, his insurance running out, about to lose his boat, out of money, and tired of being sick and tired.

And at the bottom, a suicide cocktail and timeline of his intended death.

Damn you, Marcus.

And sorry for not being a more engaged friend.