Monday, March 14, 2005

Into each life a little rain must fall...

...and into every life, some sunshine.

I have been experiencing a period of real pleasantness. The car, fixed, some major house projects done, family life really enjoyable.

It's weird, because often when something goes wrong, my first instinct is "What did I do to deserve this?" Karma. After the panic attack subsides, I have to think to myself "everyone has car trouble" or "anyone's house could flood." But even during last week's car trouble, I could only laugh. Thankfully, because of the problems I had in college with my car (or the stupidity of locking keys in the truck) and I was impressed at how Kevin was able to call a 1-800 number and have a guy show up in a tow truck, look at a card with three little A's on it, get my trunk unlocked, wish us a good evening and drive away.

But now, when things are going really well, I'm not sitting here going "What could I have possibly done to deserve this?" Sure, I made an extra effort to be really nice and grateful to the AAA lady and the tow truck driver last week when I had to have my car towed, but I still drive to fast, get irritated too fast and probably spend a little too much time each morning at work reading the day's headlines. I really can't have done anything to deserve this, nor could I possibly believe that I had anything to do with this. It could be God, giving me a period of sunshine, or it could just be life going smoothly for the moment. Or, it could be part of my attitude... the thing about trying to be nicer and more social to people, beyond what it takes to conduct a transaction. Or maybe it's just a nice time.

But I'm also aware that we can expect periods of darkness, periods of adversity, trials and hardships. I still potentially have jury duty coming up, and I got a summons again about the dog thing... more than a full month after I actually showed up in court to find no ticket had ever actually been issued, I get a letter from the city informing me that the court date had been moved to May. Not too excited about that.

But I'm not dreading the next period of darkness. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am enjoying life. Money's still tight, time is still a premium... But it's not just the nice day to day, but it's been a couple of weeks of real contentment. Not to mention some beautiful weather that reminded me of my first summer in California, punctuated by a few days of mild rain that has helped the grass to really grow but not caused any new leaks or flooding in the house.

It's nice. I may not have much control over things, but I'm just going to really enjoy this time. Even if it means the chores don't get done as quickly, or I can't complete as much contract work, I'm going to enjoy life.

Maybe it will translate into even more calm and better driving habits. Now that would be truly telling.
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