Monday, February 02, 2004

Older... but Wiser?

For my big three-oh, we had friends over to watch the Superbowl commerc..uh, game. We couldn't offer a big screen, so we borrowed a projector from work, brought out the other moderate TV and hooked them all into the broken DishNETWORK PVR and so no matter where you looked in the living room, you could see the game.

Before the game, they had a live conversation with President Bush. They asked him who he was rooting for and he said that because no Texas team was playing, he wasn't rooting for anyone. Excuse me while I digress for a moment. Normally, I'm a pretty staunch supporter for President Bush. But that was a dumb*ss stupid dumb stupid thing to say. First, if all'y'all Texans love Texas so freaking much, why don't you just secede and become your own country. The rest of us would say "Good Riddance" (One of our pastors yesterday morning said that when he moved to Texas for a job, he knew immediately that 'Hell was a local call.') He should have said something along the lines of "As President of the United States, it's almost like both teams are my kids and I can't pick one over the other. I just hope they both play a good game and I'm proud of them for their hard work this season to get here for this big day." That's what I would have said if I were the president.

The game was pretty boring until it was almost half over. That's when my friends Brett and Katie, the only ones with an opinion on who should win arrived and the players woke up. Maybe it was his energy jumping around our living room.

CBS, for my birthday, put on a strip show featuring Janet Jackson. Isn't she like 50? Everyone was quick to point out that MTV produced the half-time show, that nothing like that had happened in rehearsals all week long. The NFL went so far as to say that MTV would be "unlikely" to produce another half-time show. Which is funny because the wording is classic in its ability to insult but at the same time, leaves the door open in case the NFL ratings start to suck and they need access to geriatric has-been singers wishing to show their breasts and untalented losers singing old songs while young girls dressed like even younger girls dance around them in high-school-like cheerleader outfits before stripping out of them... umm... was that Nelly or R.Kelly?

And all that had to piss of Madison Avenue, too. 50% of the audience of the Super Bowl in the US watches for the commercials. And the lame half-time show is what everyone will be talking about today.

Maybe I am getting old. Maybe it's the baby on the way. But does everything have to be so tacky? Who's running MTV these days? I know that Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing" video may not be as novel anymore, but are we unable to be wowed and amazed? Has shock and titillation replaced innovation, excitement and talent?

In other news, no one died on my birthday this year. Well, even that's not entirely true. When my friend got up in Sunday school during Prayer and Praise and then was crying and unable to speak, I was afraid it was his brother, who he had a few weeks earlier happily announced that his brother's tour in Iraq was almost up and that he'd be coming home soon. I doubted. Then a few weeks later he announced that the tour had been extended indefinitely. So when he stood up yesterday, I was afraid that his brother was one of the nameless American soldiers dying daily in Iraq. Fortunately, that wasn't the case and it was a much smaller thing, but soldiers and civilians did die there yesterday. And will today. And that sucks. Not enough planning went into this thing.

But that's a bit of a digression. My original intent was to complain that we think we need to be titillated because the media has taught us that that's the only way to be excited. Because they're too lazy to find and promote quality talent.

And that's not even mentioning the commercials. Which for the most part pretty much sucked. Chevrolet had a bunch of kids cursing, Bud Light had crotch biting dogs and propositioning monkeys. There were two ads that stood out during the entire game. One was a throw-away for the NFL with players singing "Tomorrow, Tomorrow" with the tagline "Tomorrow we're all undefeated." for the NFL Television Network. (A later ad for the Pro Bowl next week in Hawaii would suggest that's not really true.) The second ad we all decided was the most standout none of us could remember later. We knew it aired before the one with the guy who gets out of the Jaguar and falls, but could not remember what it was. (Maybe it was the "tomorrow, tomorrow" ad?) Honorable mention to the little donkey who got to be a Budweiser Clydesdale. But on the whole, the commercials sucked. Lame, lame, lame. Not funny, not memorable.

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