Encourage Your Kids

I was part of a podcast yesterday and one of the hosts told a story of when they were a child they really wanted to be a radio DJ. Their mom told them that because of their stutter, they'd never be a DJ.

Reminded me of a time when I had wanted to be a drummer and my mom told me I lacked the rhythm.  I probably think of this at least once a year, decades later.

Our moms would probably be mortified if they knew that they had said this or that it had stuck with us our entire lives. 

As a result, I've tried to avoid ever telling my children they lack something necessary to follow their dreams. Instead, I've tried to support, encourage, provide space and materials for whatever they've wanted to explore. 

Some things don't pan out. Sometimes they're down on themselves for something they've attempted and failed at. When this happens, I try to encourage them to see if there's anything they can learn from it, and if it's something they really do want to do. Because if it is, they need to persevere. Practice makes perfect, some things come easy to some people, but other people have to work at it. 

But I'm never going to say that my children can't do something they set their mind to. If it's dangerous or illegal or expensive, we might have to chat about the wisdom of something or its impact on other people or their unincarcerated future or how they're going to fund such a venture. But my kids are never going to hear they're not good enough to attempt something they are excited about.

Please, people, be careful with the words you use, you never know how long they will bounce around in someone else's head.