It's getting gray outside. They were predicting we'd see rain by 5 p.m. I haven't seen any rain yet, but I've been watching it get darker and darker all day. You can no longer see the mountains. Lately we've been able to see the mountains. The smog isn't as bad here. It's also getting darker here and soon all will be pitch black.

I've been wondering if my blog is all I set it out to be. I'm not really thinking of folding it, but I'm wondering if I should take time to be a little more thoughtful. I do like the headlines, at least two people regularly use them as the basis for long emails to me. Those are thought provoking and I don't always get a chance to respond as completely as I'd like, but I do know that it is being read.

Yesterday, some guy won the Republican State Primary for California. I'm not sure which, if any of those words -- except California -- really need to be capitalized. The guy who won supposedly took $10 million from the current governor, a democrat, for use in TV ads, bashing his main rival, the former mayor of Los Angeles. To be fair, the former mayor hasn't been consistent in his stance and had the worst slogan ever... "The candidate Gray Davis fears the most." Gray Davis is the governor of California.

And I came to something I think I've pretty much known about myself for some time but wasn't sure I was willing to admit. I absolutely do not care one bit about politics. My vote doesn't matter and what's the point, really? The only election I would have even cared about was the presidential and that was all bogus and I still don't understand that electoral college thing. It's all conspiracy theory fodder to me.

Is there anyone from Russia on this list? Is there a "Junkyard Wars" TV show over there? They had a expanded edition recently that featured contestants from Russia, the US and the UK. I felt bad for the Russians... they were smart, earnest and hard-working, but they seemed out matched. I was wondering if they had the prep time like the other teams or if they were just thrown in and expected to swim.

I am looking forward to the rain. I hope it will let loose a torrential river. It will make clear the air, help the plants to grow and be a change. It'll also cause car accidents, but that's the one good side to selective application of Darwinism. The crappy drivers will get off the road. And with any luck, they won't hit me on their way to the guardrail.

Lately it's been much of the same. I need a change. I've grown bored. Don't get me wrong, there are lots that I'm really excited about. I enjoy my work, I love hanging out with my wife. I like driving my car and playing with the cats. I enjoy going to Disneyland and church is energizing. But I'm feeling restless. Something needs to happen. But I don't know what. And I know it's up to me to make it happen. I just can't tell if it's boredom, a lack of energy or my struggle to not be jealous of people who seem to have more than me. I don't exactly mean material, but to some degree maybe I do. I'm seeking contentment and it is occasionally elusive.

Time to head out. Perhaps I'm not malcontent, if that word is even correctly used. I used to be smart and know words and stuff. Then I went to college and forgot everything. *sigh* I hope everyone's having fun and I'll probably soon join you. Perhaps I'm just tired. I want to stay home tonight... I don't want to debate some dumb book that I'm not enjoying, but I feel the obligation. Or perhaps it's the weather being all gray and dark. If it would just rain I could sit and listen to it and watch it stream down the windows. Bring on the rain.