On the subject of gifts....

I started to write an email and decided it worked better as a blog post. (What's below is not the email, I deleted that and then the first draft post as well.)

So why write about giving me gifts at all? Is that presumptuous of me? Greedy? Self-serving?

I hope not.

I don't want to be prescriptive about what people should or shouldn't give me, but I want to be helpful.  If I simply said "Don't get me anything." I know I would be sad (I like gifts/surprises) and some people would be sad (they like giving presents) or they would be offended (either because they weren't planning on it or because who am I to tell them what to do? They'll show me. Now they're going to get me twice as many gifts. OK, I don't see that happening.)

Here's a few of the things in my mind that might give you some ideas hopefully without being prescriptive. Lori can also probably decode these if you're curious to learn more but don't want to ask me.

Seattle - I love Seattle and love celebrating it, I love spending time in it.  

Food - I've dropped 42 pounds but really struggling with the last 8. Still, there are some special treats I enjoy, like items from Pike Place Market or Made in Washington that wouldn't normally appear on Lori's menu. Lori and I have also had fun recently buying small samples of various cheeses from Trader Joes as a way of trying new things.

Clothes - I'm in the early stages of coming up with a "style" - a much smaller wardrobe of quality pieces that all fit together for consistency with a singular look, color palette. 

Time with our family and friends - We (either all four of us, or just Lori and I or just the children without Lori and I) don't get to spend as much time with family and friends as we'd like.  Invite yourself over or invite us over.  A lame excuse but it's a step above survival - we're not thinking at that level. Please reach out to us. We're not intentionally being hermits.

Time with a child - Lori and I don't get enough chances for focused time together with a single child. If you'd like to borrow the other for an afternoon, evening or sleepover, they come with instructions. (Or just hang out at our house while we're out with the other child. Ben has been a bigger recipient of mom and dad time to date.)

Time with just Lori - while Lori and I do enjoy far more date nights than your typical parent of special needs children, we welcome ideas on how to spend that time (if you want to send us to a unique restaurant, a performance or a worship concert, those are all great ways to gift us)  

Stuff - I'm fighting a battle with clutter, we have limited surfaces and Ben's started pulling things off the walls. Would I grab it in a fire?  Alternatively, is it a non-food item I will use (but wouldn't necessarily buy for myself), some kind of little luxury? Otherwise, the "stuff" that I'd put on a list are not the stuff of gifts: a new furnace, permanent wiring for generator, hot water heater, windows in basement, new retaining wall, redoing the kid's bathroom, etc.

Future - Our future is uncertain, but there's the potential that Ben could be with us the rest of our life and then need care after we're gone. Anything with a thought towards that is a heartwarming blessing of a future we're cautioned not to dwell upon but still does linger as something to be considered.

Beyond me - there are people in situations I can't even really comprehend - around the world or here in our community, many of whom would probably even do a better job of being truly grateful for a gift. If I'm difficult to shop for or I've just put forth a bunch of annoying rules that suck the joy out of it, there's always shoeboxes and angel trees and food banks and charities.